Vent Session

Today is mine and David's first wedding anniversary, and here I am, in my bedroom in my parents' house, already changed into pajamas after work. What is supposed to be an amazing day filled with dates and flowers and things has been a crappy day.

First, and most obvious, my husband and I are spending our first anniversary almost 10,000 miles apart. So, our anniversary has just felt like any other day. I woke up at 5:45, got to work at 7:00, left work at 2:35, and came home. I've been here since. I guess you could say that the best anniversary present I could ask for I am receiving. My husband has less than a week left in this year-long deployment. These last few days have been the longest, though. They feel like they're crawling. It doesn't help that only days away from when he is signed up to leave, we still aren't sure exactly when that will be. It could be this day, could be the next. I'm just so ready for him to be back in the U.S. and safe. It's driving me nuts because it's dragging out! We've been dating for two years, and married for one, and we've spent three months of those two years actually together. Those three months were spent sleeping in our teenage bedrooms in our parent's home, running back and forth all over to see all kinds of people. We have yet to have the chance to be a normal, married couple. We don't know what it's like to wake up, eat breakfast, head to work, and go back to bed that night, and wake up and do it all over again. We don't know what it's like to clean on the weekends, or cook dinner at night, or lay on our couch and watch movies. This homecoming doesn't just mean he's home safe, but it means we get to start our lives together, and I couldn't be more anxious and excited about it.

Also, I am absolutely fed up with fake, surface-level people. I'm so tired of people saying meaningless things, or trying to prove things with baseless words because their actions prove otherwise. I'm tired of people just saying things to make them look better. After you say the same things over and over again, they become even more meaningless than before. My husband and I are both just fed up with these people--and there are multiple. I guess that's what comes with being in a deployment, though. People who really don't care, and never wanted to care, go overboard with caring words because he's a soldier and I'm on the home front and it makes them feel like a good person. I can't wait for us to be out of the Army, living back near our friends and families, living a normal life--just to see how many people still say all of their "I'm so happy for you" "You too are so great" and "I miss you, I love you." To see how many people bother to call us or visit when we live 15 minutes away. All the words in the world mean nothing if you don't prove them.

So needless to say, my anniversary day was just filled with me being angry and irritated. Thankfully, tomorrow is a new day, and one day closer.