Vent Session

Today is mine and David's first wedding anniversary, and here I am, in my bedroom in my parents' house, already changed into pajamas after work. What is supposed to be an amazing day filled with dates and flowers and things has been a crappy day.

First, and most obvious, my husband and I are spending our first anniversary almost 10,000 miles apart. So, our anniversary has just felt like any other day. I woke up at 5:45, got to work at 7:00, left work at 2:35, and came home. I've been here since. I guess you could say that the best anniversary present I could ask for I am receiving. My husband has less than a week left in this year-long deployment. These last few days have been the longest, though. They feel like they're crawling. It doesn't help that only days away from when he is signed up to leave, we still aren't sure exactly when that will be. It could be this day, could be the next. I'm just so ready for him to be back in the U.S. and safe. It's driving me nuts because it's dragging out! We've been dating for two years, and married for one, and we've spent three months of those two years actually together. Those three months were spent sleeping in our teenage bedrooms in our parent's home, running back and forth all over to see all kinds of people. We have yet to have the chance to be a normal, married couple. We don't know what it's like to wake up, eat breakfast, head to work, and go back to bed that night, and wake up and do it all over again. We don't know what it's like to clean on the weekends, or cook dinner at night, or lay on our couch and watch movies. This homecoming doesn't just mean he's home safe, but it means we get to start our lives together, and I couldn't be more anxious and excited about it.

Also, I am absolutely fed up with fake, surface-level people. I'm so tired of people saying meaningless things, or trying to prove things with baseless words because their actions prove otherwise. I'm tired of people just saying things to make them look better. After you say the same things over and over again, they become even more meaningless than before. My husband and I are both just fed up with these people--and there are multiple. I guess that's what comes with being in a deployment, though. People who really don't care, and never wanted to care, go overboard with caring words because he's a soldier and I'm on the home front and it makes them feel like a good person. I can't wait for us to be out of the Army, living back near our friends and families, living a normal life--just to see how many people still say all of their "I'm so happy for you" "You too are so great" and "I miss you, I love you." To see how many people bother to call us or visit when we live 15 minutes away. All the words in the world mean nothing if you don't prove them.

So needless to say, my anniversary day was just filled with me being angry and irritated. Thankfully, tomorrow is a new day, and one day closer.

Circumlocution

I will mainly be venting, so prepare yourself for not so nice words. I never liked to listen to my Mom when she said "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all." So what do I have to vent about? I am so sick and tired of people using circumlocution, or in other words, using every other word and phrase to disguise what they really want to say. It's most often used in the context of persuasive speech, mainly by politicians, a.k.a liars. JUST SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY. SAY HOW YOU FEEL. AND SAY IT TO MY FACE. In my dream world, for just one day, everyone would say exactly how they feel to everyone about everything. Every one would hate each other for two days, talk it out, fight it out, whatever, and get over it. That, my friends, is how world piece is achieved. Growing up, I was a jock and hung out with the cool kids, but I also got picked on for being nerdy. I got picked on because I wasn't afraid to be nerdy and a jock at the same time. I got picked on because even if I was friends with the cool kids, I wasn't going to pretend to like what they liked or do what they do just to seem one way or the other. And now, as an adult, I feel even stronger about that. I really don't give a crap who you are. If I have a problem with you, or if I feel a certain way about something, I refuse to say anything other than that. I'm going to tell you exactly how I feel, and nothing more or less. Just the same, I expect you to be the same way with me. I don't care if you're going to piss me off. I just want you to be real. So yeah, that's what I have to say, and now that I've vented, I can take a deep breath and keep on trekking forward.

On another note, my husband was supposed to be back on the FOB two days ago, and I haven't heard from him. From the sounds of it, I think it has started snowing on the FOB, which means any schedules between now and when it stops snowing will inevitably be delayed. This is why I'm venting to my blog, and not him. Sorry :)

Oh, and I'm on steroids for my bronchitis. Every time I take them, I get the "roid rage" which makes me a combination of irritable and anal about cleanliness and organization. So, sorry again.