Any Improvement is Good Improvement

I just got back from my night class, so I finally get to share about Day 2 of my unit. I assigned four pages of reading of a short story for homework between this past Tuesday and today. In first block (the New Beginnings block), no one read. In the standard class, about 40-50% of them read, and in the dual enrollment, probably 80% of them. So depending on how much reading they got done, today we had to adjust the lesson plans and read whatever they didn't. Seeing as they were able to do independent reading and answer the study guide questions on their own today, things went better. The first block kids still didn't like me, and still weren't happy that I was teaching them versus Mrs. C, but they were a little more respectful. Only a few snickers and smart comments. Even though I still am sweating the entire time I'm teaching them, I'm just pushing through and trying to do the best I can with them. Not that I am understanding of anyone being disrespectful, but I understand the negative reactions from them in general. So I'm trying my best to be patient and prove to them I'm not going anywhere and that I'm not that weak.

I ended up having to change my entire unit today. I had schedule for us to do a 1 to 2 page friendly letter assignment in 3 sessions, and then a PSA in the last 3 sessions. I was excited about the PSA, but aside from the dual enrollment kids, they just aren't quite ready for that. They don't know editing marks, revision techniques, what it means to publish writing (formally or informally), and so forth. So, I think I'm going to use this letter assignment as an extensive review of the writing process, with a majority of the focus on revision and editing. I'm going to have to change my learning goals and lesson plans, and my preassessment and postassessment data will now be invalid, but it's what they need. When it comes down to it, kids are more important than data.

I just looked up and there's a lady bug crawling up the wall right in front of me. There's hope :)

I just got a picture of our final deployment quilt today. It includes names of my university's students' loved ones that are deployed, are vets, or were KIA. Tomorrow, on Veteran's Day, it will be hung up in our Student Union ballroom. It's pretty awesome!

First Day Teaching

Today was my first day of teaching my unit. It went great, aside from one block.

They were insanely disrespectful. They told me they weren't doing the homework and they weren't doing the assignments, so I should basically just not teach them because it didn't matter. They laughed in my face. They refused to speak to me. No matter what I said, it didn't work. They thought 4 pages of reading (with 2 days to do it) was ridiculous and too much. They said I didn't understand that they have too much work to do and that they just finished their Senior Projects and they were done with homework. I explained to them that I read on average 200 pages a night for a single class--and I have 6 classes. I told them I write 25-page research papers every few months. I explained to them that I took about six hours out of my free time this weekend to prepare this unit for them. I explained to them I even printed out the PowerPoint slides so they didn't have to take notes. None of it mattered.

I went to an urban high school, so I'm familiar with this environment, but it's very different being on the other side of the desk. It's angering, it hurts your feelings, and at the same time, it's sad. What would ever drive a child to be so careless and disrespectful? Not even a child, but 17, 18, and 19 year olds. When I was in high school, I hung in there with the urban setting by either (1) fading into the background or (2) getting smart/tough right back. Neither of those options work here. If I do #1, I lose command of my classroom, and that's the worst possible situation. If I do #2, they see it as a challenge, and they come right back at me with more. My cooperating teacher said to humor them, to ignore what they say, and to get the bad ones on your side. How do I do that? How do I be fake and nice and laugh it up with them when I know they don't give two craps about me and what I have to teach them? This is going to be major struggle that I'm going to have to do a lot of praying about.

I think I have decided, not just from this bad experience (because the other blocks were wonderful), but from all of my teaching experiences in multiple levels and school systems, that I definitely want to teach middle school or junior high. I just enjoy the age group more, and I enjoy the material we learn more. I think my personality is too strong for 11th and 12th graders. We just end up butting heads because their personalities are strong with hormones, and mine are just strong because that's who I am. Two strong-willed people going against one another doesn't end well.

Now I have approximately 30 minutes to read a couple hundred pages for my 3 hour night class tonight. At least its on feminism.

So, it's now 9:50PM the same day. I just got out of the shower. I have spent every second since I got home from work today dwelling over all of this. I have played scenarios out in my head 8 bazillion times of how I might fix this problem, and well, I just can't think of anything. This is when I need some all-knowing teacher manual that tells you how to deal with any and every situation. Should I give them a "disclaimer" before the next lesson--"Let's all try to make today a better day than the last one" kind of thing? I think that's too patronizing. I don't want to sound like I'm their mom chastising them and being overly nice in hopes they'll be better. Should I just ignore today completely and keep plowing through my lesson with them, in hopes they'll see that they're not going to stop me? I don't think that'll work either. My cooperating teacher says they'll always this way, and they still are for her. I'm totally beating myself up over this. I need advice.

It's now 10:12PM the next day. I am currently making up my lesson plans and PowerPoint for tomorrow's lesson. While I'm sitting here making these, I've decided that I'm just going to do my thing and just keep teaching through all the crap they're giving me. I'm not going to give the "new day, new attitude" speech. I'm going to pretend like it never happened and just keep teaching. I think the key problem is they're high-risk students--at least as far as education is concerned. They need and like stability and they usually place the teacher as the "Mom" figure. So, me coming in the class and teaching them instead of their usual teacher totally disrupts both of those things. I'm like the babysitter assigned by the parent. What do kids do when they have a babysitter? They test the waters. They see what they can get away with. They act like loonies because they think they can get away with it. And most importantly, they get upset when their parents aren't there to cook for them like always, to tuck them in like always, and so forth. That's the same reaction I'm getting. And in the same way the babysitter just has to stand her ground and keep them going and motivated, that's what I have to do--I have to KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON!